One Plus One
By Karen Borgemenke
Saint Josemaría Escrivá, while at speaking engagements, would take questions. While answering questions related to vocations, he would often inquire if the person was married. If so, he would then ask the spouse’s name, saying something like, “David, you have a divine vocation and it has a name: Karen.”
Marriage is a beautiful sacrament and holy vocation; that free, faithful, and fruitful union of a man and a woman along with God. God’s perfect plan and purpose for Dave, and for me, is His desire for us to grow in holiness each day, and grow each other in holiness. God desires each one of us back with him one day for all eternity.
Our marriage journey began way back in May of 1991 at St. Ann’s Church in Groesbeck, the same parish we attended together in grade school. We knew early on that our marriage was a covenant with God, and He needed to remain at the center of our lives in order for our marriage to last. Marriage is hard and we had no idea how many struggles and heartaches we would endure.
We wasted no time beginning our family. Just a few short weeks after we were married, we were blessed to find out we were expecting. How incredible it is, that this great vocation of marriage has also brought about our vocations of fatherhood and motherhood. It is an extraordinary gift being co-creators with God of these souls that will be for all eternity. It is so amazing, and yet, so humbling!
We were blessed with nine beautiful children on this earth, seven boys and two girls, and one sweet boy that God chose to be back with Him. We often tease that Nathan has been tasked with the heavy load of interceding for all of us down here.
Over the years, people have often asked us, “You have NINE children? Are they all yours, or is that a blended family? Did you birth all of them? Don’t you know what causes that?”
“Yes, yes, and yes. Oh, yes…we are aware of what causes that! LOVE!”
How beautiful is God’s perfect and impossible math though, where one plus one can equal eleven, and then sixteen, and then seventeen, and then an ever-growing number.
From the moment we held each of our sweet babies in our arms, our minds couldn’t help but wonder what the future would hold for that sweet little one. We have prayed each day that our children know the plans God has created them for, that they know clearly where He is calling them. We have also prayed that they always remain close to Him and the Blessed Mother. We have always promised God that we would support His children wherever He was calling them. We know that our children are a gift from God. He entrusted them to us, but He wants them back one day.
It’s hard to believe that it has been thirty-three years since we exchanged our wedding vows. Our married life has been challenging at times, exhausting, and messy, and chaotic, and beautiful.
It has been filled with chronic illnesses, lengthy hospitalizations, complicated pregnancies, caring for ill parents, the loss of parents, the loss of a child and grandchild, job losses resulting from hospital closures, an estranged adult child, and so many fears and uncertainties; but it has also, and more importantly, been filled with the blessings of a large family, some incredible miracles, countless graces from God, and so, so much joy. We have experienced some incredible highs, and some heartbreaking lows that a friend appropriately refers to as the heartbeat of life.
We have now entered into a very busy and blessed season of life. Most of our children are grown and out of the house. Our youngest three are in high school. Our older daughter, Emily, was married last September and is expecting our grandson this December. Four of our older sons, Ryan, Brandon, Noah, and Sam, are getting married within the next nine months. The fruitfulness of married life is beautiful, and our family just continues to grow. We are gaining new children and are anticipating grandparenthood. Our hearts are overflowing with gratitude and joy.
God has been so faithful in our marriage. We fail each other repeatedly (thank goodness for mercy and forgiveness)…and we are not the perfect husband, or the perfect wife; but with the grace of God, we have been sustained and continue to try each day to grow each other and our children in holiness. We hope and pray that one day we will all enjoy eternity together with our Lord.