A Family of Faith
By Zack & Amanda Hinger
Our family’s relationship to St. Max has been a constant thread that has tied together the most important parts of our lives both individually and as a family. It would not be exaggerating to say that we would not be the people we are and wouldn’t even be a family without the Church and specifically the parish of St. Max and its community.
I (Zack) grew up at St. Max from the founding days of the parish. I was born the year before St. Max was founded, so this parish has been a home for me for as long as I can remember. I have journeyed through Masses at the gym, and daily Masses and adoration in the basement rectory all the way to the current church being built and constantly beautified in new ways. My parents made it a priority to make our faith not just part of our lives, but essential to who we were as persons and how we viewed the world around us. St. Max was a primary avenue for carrying that mission out. My parents were supported not just by clergy and staff, but also by other families in the parish that were striving to do the same.
One memory I cherish was standing in the hallway near the nursery regularly on Saturday mornings once a month with other families, playing with friends while we waited for Confession, which at that time took place in one of the classrooms (this was in the days when only the parish center was built). Again, it was in the parish that I saw these same families at social events, or daily Mass. It became clear to me through St. Max that as I made my faith my own and strove for sanctity that I was not alone. St. Max also provided opportunities for adoration and exposition that my parents took advantage of, but not without frequently bringing my sister and I along. I can still picture the small makeshift chapel in the rectory basement and can count out the number of chairs I would occasionally stretch across pretending to sleep as I watched my parents deep in prayer. These foundational moments continued through countless ways during my childhood, all the way to my teenage years, where I met Amanda, the woman I would one day marry.
My (Amanda’s) experience wasn’t quite the same as Zack’s in my early childhood days. My mother had fallen away from her faith, and only came back to it when I was around the age of 10. That is the point where St. Max became a family for me. I was brought into the Church and baptized during the Easter Vigil in 1999 with my dad. Even from these early days we began to find family through my godparents and their family. As it turns out, our neighbors down the street (and my childhood best friend’s parents) were my godparents. Their witness of faith in the family, and truly welcoming me as a part of their family, has made a lasting impact on me. I still remember praying family rosaries with them on sleepover nights, even before I really knew the importance and value of the rosary. Back at St. Max, I can clearly remember stacking chairs in the gym after the noon mass. This is where my parents and I began to meet other St. Max families and started to develop lasting friendships. We started spending an increasing amount of time at St. Max as it became our extended family.
As I entered my teenage years, I began to take more ownership of my faith and becoming the disciple of Jesus Christ that I knew I was called to be. One main avenue that I did this through was involvement in the St. Max youth ministry. That is where I met Amanda. Although we didn’t begin dating until a couple years after meeting, the environment of youth ministry laid the groundwork for a future relationship that would keep God central to how we dated. In addition to that, it fostered deeper friendships with many of the other teens of the parish that I had known for years. In fact, many of those friendships have continued to this day. In particular, one of our closest friends would continue on to be my college roommate, best man in our wedding, and occasional volunteer with me when I worked in ministry. To Amanda’s chagrin, the two of us seem to not be able to get together these days without our conversations coming back to the Catholic faith often in somewhat heady topics. Through those years as a teen in youth ministry at St. Max I can truly say that I was molded into a man who loved God and tried to follow Him even when it was difficult.
Just like Zack, the St. Max youth ministry was instrumental in forming me during the often-chaotic years of being a teenager. It is in youth group where I started to gain confidence in my faith and formed lasting friendships. Youth ministry is where I first became friends with Zack and we built a strong foundation for our dating relationship and future marriage. To this day, it is a joy to celebrate the major life milestones and sacraments of those mutual friends we made from youth ministry – from marriages, to children, to Godparents.
For many, graduating high school and going on to college and future careers ends their journey with their childhood parish. For us however this was barely the beginning. We left (a generous term with our frequent times back for summer and holidays) only to come back in 2013 to be married at St. Max in front of family and many of those friends that were formed within these walls. Within a year of getting married, we had moved back to the area and were setting roots in our own home. This was one of the seasons in life where our need for St. Max, both in its community and spiritual support was most clear.
In 2013 my mother who had battled cancer earlier in life found out that her cancer had returned and was spreading. The next year until my mom passed in September 2014 would be the most difficult of my life and the only way I made it through was with the support of Zack, my faith, and the support of our St. Max family. The way our friends-turned-family rallied around us, providing meals and supported us through her cancer and death is a blessing I do not take for granted. It was amazing to see the number of our church family who came in the days leading up to my mother’s death to pray with her and visit, even up to the moment of her last breath. It is hard to put into words the tangible way we could feel the reality of the Body of Christ alive and supporting us. Additionally, being surrounded by hundreds of people at her funeral, all whom I know loved my mom and my family deeply, helped me feel the love of Christ in a very tangible way.
Since that time, we have settled more into parish life, moving from a dynamic of feeling like children who knew our parents’ friends, to forming our own community of support with other young couples and families. We have since had 3 children who have all been baptized at St. Max, and the oldest has been able to receive her First Reconciliation and Communion. I (Zach) was blessed to work for a time at St. Max and give back to the family that has given me so much. I continue my involvement through volunteering and now get to give my children the gifts my parents gave me through this parish by taking them to daily Masses, Confession and Fr. Jim’s Sunday morning classes, along with many other great things our parish offers.
As a mother and wife, one way I have grown and been supported through our parish is through involvement in small groups. Times with other mothers and wives striving for holiness in their vocations, has helped me to better grow into the woman I am called to be. I have spent countless hours talking and sharing in life with these women. Zack similarly has a small group he has been involved with and we will often get all our families together. It is great to see how our families can support each other on our journey towards Heaven.
To this day, St. Max continues to be a support for us as a family, and we have the blessing to still share this with our parents. Our children get to experience the faith not just through the witness of Amanda and me, but also through the witness of their grandparents who still sit with us each week at Mass.
As we said to begin, we would not be the people we are and wouldn’t even be a family without the Church and specifically the parish of St. Max and its community. We have gone from strangers, to friends, and from friends to spouses. We have gone from individuals, to a couple, to a family. Most importantly because of St. Max, we have gone from searching to knowing God, knowing God to loving him, from loving Him to following Him and ultimately striving for Heaven, but not alone, rather with a countless host of others.